


Birthday Cards

by supernaturallylost



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Timeline, M/M, Sentimental Dean, dean writes birthday cards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3454019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturallylost/pseuds/supernaturallylost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean spends a majority of his time caring for other people. At any given moment, he is either at Sam's side or Cas'. He spends his time protecting people, and he devotes his life to making sure people are taken care of. Every year on the exact same date, he even takes a little extra time to write out a birthday card.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Cards

Dean follows Sam casually down the bunker’s hallway.

“Get some sleep, Sammy,” he says as Sam walks to his bedroom.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Sam sighs, closing his door behind him.

Dean waits for a few moments, hears the springs of Sam’s bed, and then turns into his own room. He closes the door quietly and walks toward the desk.

In the uppermost drawer are only four things: paper, pens, envelopes, and a box of matches.

Dean pulls out a clean piece of paper and a new pen. He writes.

_I spent this year finding out what to do with Sammy. He’s well, and I know he wants you to know he’s working hard and being brave. I almost let him kill himself trying to close the gates of hell. I know you wouldn’t like to hear that, but it needs to be said. I’m sorry._

_We watched the angels fall. I don’t know where Cas is at the moment. He could be anywhere. Hopefully he’s still got his angel mojo. You remember Cas, right? I know I’ve mentioned him before. He’s been a big part of life these past couple of years, more now than ever. You know, I thought it was creepy at first. I thought the whole ‘angels watching over us’ thing was uncomfortable. Now I’m not sure. I’m definitely unconvinced about angels in general, but Cas is different. It’s like he’s trying to support the weak. He’s doing his best to be helpful, which isn’t like most other angels I’ve met._

_Anyway, Sam and I will try to find him at some point. For now, I think we’re hoping he finds us._

_I love you._

_-Dean_

 

Dean folds the letter neatly, stuffs it in an envelope, and addresses it to a house in Lawrence, Kansas. He seals it and holds it close in hand.

He takes a deep breath. Without looking, he pulls the metal trash bin over, puts the envelope in the bottom, and lights a match.

With his elbows on his knees and his eyes closed, he smiles sadly.

“Happy birthday, mom,” he whispers.

He drops the match into the bin and watches the letter burn.

 

A year later, Dean follows slowly after a lumbering Sam. Sam turns back to make sure Dean makes it into his room okay.

“Get some sleep, okay?” Sam says patiently.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean waves him away, closing his bedroom door behind him.

Slowly, he walks toward the desk. He pulls out a fresh piece of paper and his favorite pen. He writes.

 

_I let you down this year. Sam’s worried about me so much that the stress is eating away his fingernails. I tell him it’s a bad habit, but he just says he’s not gonna start pulling his hair. Have I told you that his hair is unreasonably neat all of the time?_

_Cas is back… -ish. I spent the year taking care of him. Remember when I told you he seemed to be sharing his strength with humanity? Well, I got to share my strength with him this year. We… well, we’re close. I don’t know what you’d think, but I know you’d like him one second after meeting him. He’s kind, and he looks kind. He’s just a little naïve. Anyway, he’s an angel again now, so I don’t really have to watch after him anymore. I think we both feel we should be looking out for each other, but we’re not sure how. If I was on the outside looking in, I‘d probably think it’s funny._

_I don’t want to tell you about my problems. You don’t need to hear them on your birthday of all days. But you’d ask me to tell you, wouldn’t you? So let me just say that I’m scared. I made a mistake. There’s this mark on my arm that turns me into something bad, something horrible. At least, it’s easier to blame the mark. Sometimes I worry it’s just me, and I’m just using the mark as an excuse. Either way, I’m not doing well. But you asked me to be brave once, so I’m trying. Especially for Sammy and Cas. They don’t need to be burdened by this._

_Anyway, I love you._

_-Dean_

Again, Dean addresses the letter to a house in Lawrence, Kansas. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, whispers, “Happy Birthday, mom,” and lights a match.

As the letter burns in the trash can, Dean feels a tear fall down his cheek. Behind him is a rush of wind followed by a raspy voice saying his name.

“Dean.”

Dean smiles, but his jaw clenches. He wipes the tear away quickly and turns to face Cas. Cas doesn’t smile back.

“Dean,” he says softer.

“What are you doing here, Cas?”

“I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Cas answers, kneeling down beside Dean, eyes glancing at the burning trash bin. “I smelled smoke.”

Dean looks down into Cas’ bright blue eyes and then at the burning paper.

“Did you see..?” he asks anxiously.

“Not if you didn’t want me to,” Cas responds with a smile. Dean smiles back. After a few moments, Cas reaches for Dean’s hand. “Is it a prayer?”

Dean tilts his head, ignoring his heartbeat increasing as Cas’ thumb slides across the back of his hand. “Is what a prayer?”

“The letter,” Cas nods toward the fire. He looks up at Dean, whose eyes are brimming with tears.

“No,” he said, “not a prayer. Just a birthday card.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave comments if you'd like.


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